Church Struggles

As my feet pounded the pavement,

My phone started buzzing in my hand. 

It was the night before my first surgery,

And I didn’t recognize the number.

I almost didn’t answer,

But when I accepted the call and said hello,

It was Pastor Ken on the other end.

He was wanting to pray with me.

As I continued to walk my route down main street,

Pastor Ken prayed for the events that the next day would hold.

Small Town, America.

A prayer on main street.

So simple.

Yet so powerful.

However, life is not so simple.

Life offers up complexities that we can’t grasp.

Questions that we can’t answer.

In all my church going years,

Which add up to a whopping 44 years,

My whole life,

I have never attended a perfect church.

I never expected to attend a perfect church.

I didn’t even believe that a perfect church existed.

Church for me consists of worshiping the one who makes all things possible.

Church is about deepening our faith.

Creating a deeper bond with our Lord and Savior.

Church is about loving others.

Loving others as Jesus loves us.

Church is about serving.

Serving those in need.

Church is about keeping Jesus forefront and center and creating disciples to follow Him.

Spreading His Word through our actions and deeds.

Again. 

It seems so simple.

So powerful.

Follow His teachings.

But why if it seems so simple on paper,

Why is our church struggling?

What has happened to simply loving others?

What has happened to putting others before ourselves?

Have we become such a “me” generation 

That our wants and needs come before the feelings of others?

I’m struggling.

With the resignation of our third pastor,

Right now, I have more questions than answers.

Why do our pastors feel they need to leave?

What is happening behind the scenes?

All three pastors that have left our church,

Have left their personal stamp in my faith journey.

I wouldn’t be where I am today without Pastor Bruce, Mike, and Ken.

Each had their own gift in preaching that pushed my faith to a new level.

I understand that no pastor is perfect.

I also understand that no person is perfect.

None of us are.

That is what each day is for.

Each day, given to us each morning when we wake,

Another day to strive to live as Jesus has instructed us to live.

We are all sinners.

We are all broken this side of the veil.

We need Jesus.

We need to love each other.

We need to lift each other up

Instead of tearing open the wounds even farther.

So now what?

What happens?

Where do we go?

My heart just breaks.

For the loss of trust.

The loss of support.

The loss of love that has gotten us to this point.

But I do know this.

Jesus is here.

He is right in the middle of this muddled up mess.

He is just asking us to look to Him.

To put away our pride.